no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize