My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
