C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
