i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
