Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
