he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
