home. puking in laundry basket.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
