Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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