Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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