I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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