dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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