Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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