I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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