I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
