her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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