i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
