"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize