he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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