This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
