i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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