So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize