we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
