we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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