Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
