Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
