That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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