I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
