who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
