Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
