he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
