I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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