yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
