I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
