Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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