please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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