How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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