I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Farmville is her only friend.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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