Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
