I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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