I swear she didn't look like that last week.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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