So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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