She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
