Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
