Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
