I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
