Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
