are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
