we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have aggressive nipples.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
