How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize