I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize