Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize