I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
