They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
