So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We're too hungover to prance.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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