I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize