this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize