you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
