i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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