I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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