I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
