Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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