Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize