i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
