now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
