yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
