I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
