how can u be prego again
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
