is your mom at the bar?
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
